And 8 years later

 All good. Life is hard but so much of it is about learning and being thankful.

Having wife and children is such a blessing.

H42

Going around :)

Sometimes, I do miss writing typing my blog in the middle of the night...:D

H42

Christmas 2012

It is Christmas again. I had a great time with it although what I wished, did not come true. But people say, "It's better than nothing", right? :)

As many Christmas time in the past, I always wish for the best for everyone. I wish that everyone has great time with their families and loved ones. As for me, I wish that I could make the best decision for me and everyone around me. :)

H42

P.S. It is also one of the happiest Christmas :)

Dream

There was a dream. It was so clear that the detail of it still remains after couple days. The scene, the people, the words, the mood, the feeling... I was expecting an answer. The answer that I have been wanting to know. It could be caused of the eagerly me. Been thinking of it for so long, so hard and.. so desperate I should say. But nevermind now that I won't be able to know the answer that it just went away without leaving me any answer.....

Beside the dream, there is another thing that stuck in my mind. This song by Noah (previously Peterpan) which titled "Separuh Aku". Love the lyric, love the song. It's true that people say, "happy people listen to the song, sad people listen to the lyric.". Haha. For those that are wondering, below I embed the song just for you all. :D

(This was typed last week but was left out :P)

H42

P.S. Ah, almost forgot. Happy b'dae to myself!! Happy 24th years surviving the hardness of the life. From now on, it is just a number. :)

One time...

There was one time that I was told this.......

Don't think too much

It's been a weakness for me yet till now, I fail not to do it... so.. ya... trying my best :)

Thanks.....

H42

Move on....from what?

First, I want to thank you for trying your best to bring me up after I ended up so deep down below. To be honest, I am still trying to think how to cope with this and still trying to decipher what you told me. Move on from sadness instead of the person. Hmmm... The more I think of it, the more I am unsure... should I really stay..... or..... well... I don't know... I think this time it is the worst and I have no idea how I should cope with this. I had couple experiences before and I know how to cope with it. But this time around, hmm.. I wonder.... what happenned? I am not sure. Asked myself, told myself, and wishing that it was just a dream like what Neyo used to sing. :P

Well, I really do hope I could get over this regardless whether I got my wish, or I just am not deserve for it. The feeling of hanging around like this is really the worst thing you can imagine. I feel... wrong at everything. And I think you will get tired of me being like this everytime as I used to be a quite joker (Really! you can check my previous posts :P haha)...

hmmm.... wait a minute.... What in the world I typed??? I don't even know. That is how messed up my mind now. I do hope I could get through this well.. well, that is always in my pray and always pray that I take a good decision for myself and everyone around me... I know it's hard to please everyone, but that is my bad habit and I think I cant change that. :P

Anyways, I will not promise that I will return to this blog again as whenever I promise, I never return. LOL! So, ya.. I will see you when I update again next time :P

H42

....In the end....

....In the end.... 

....Here I am..... 

....With so much.... 

....Things, Thoughts, Works.... 

....But too bad....

....I don't care....

....Because I end....

....Up alone again....

....In the end....

....H 4 2....

I will not give up :)

hmmm

What am I thinking now? sigh...

I still can't accept the reality

Need....to...go...forward.......

H42

...

Let it run just for tonight.... i promise, i will be stronger....

run....please run....the more the better.....

H42

Clue 1

Clue 2

Clue 3

random fb msg....

"Be loved is fortunate. To love another is in bliss. To love and be love in return, that's heaven.

You will be surprise at how many people whom do not know how to love, respond to love. People get hurt in so many ways. Dont be discourage as with each experience we grow in wisdom and empathy towards others. We're all only human. "

Read it from somebody's comment in facebook. Means so deep yet so simple. We, after all, are only human....

H42

just a wish

While waiting for colleague to come at the morning, my mind is running wild, once again. Well too many times already to be honest. It is just a simple idea...a wish to be exact. This wish has been rooting in my mind and is trying to kill my mind since then. I really wish...... hmmm... sigh.... why? When I want to update this blog, I wish to put it here but when it is time for me to type them in, I feel reluctant, pain, sad, agony and many things that words could not describe...

well, after taking some courage, let me tell you my wish for this month.

Can we go back being together again?

I promise I will try to meet up with your expectation again....

Dang. There you go. My wish, a wild one but perhaps, it is just imposibble.......

ya.... imposibble....

H42

???

When I am trying to embrace myself to move on, why in the name of the mother of earth does it pain that much?

Please endure...endure....endure.....

P.S. pardon me when this blog become so emo.... I will update it properly when I have time ....well.... to be honest, I have alot of time now in my hand... haha...

H42

TT

up and down

guess...this is life eh? up and down.... and i'm at the lowest bottom now climbing slippery hill....

H42

Why?

One question in my mind....Why?

H42

Used To

I used to say it does not worth it to shed tears for those things.

But never I imagine that I would hear those words being told to me.

Nevertheless, I still thank God for everything. :)

H42

P.S. At last I am back to this blog :)

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Happy Chinese New Year for everyone that celebrates it.
I wish you a happy and prosperous Chinese New Year in the year of Rabbit! :D

For me, I will start the year in Indonesia, but not in hometown. :P
*FB photo album will be up as soon as I am back*

H42

130111

Okay... let's see, 2 weeks have past since we shouted "Happy New Year 2011!!". Nothing much happened to me except that I have bigger ambition to get a decent job. Well, hopefully I could get offer before this month ends. :)

So, last year was ended with me going to Korea and I had a lot and a lot and a lot of fun there. It was a fun trip and I am really looking forward for another winter trip :D.

Despite the happy trip, last year was kinda not my year. My employment pass was rejected on the day I applied, I got abit anti-social after couple months being alone and some problems at the end of the year. Although many unfortunate things happened, I am always trying to think positively, think the other way around Har! Think the other way around! That thought motivated me when I got into bad situation.

This brings me to the topic of the month. Second chance. It was inpired with one video in Youtube. It is about a homeless man that claims he got a golden radio voice.



I watched it and was amazed with his voice! And you need to take account that drugs and alcohol got the best of him and he came back after getting clean of those. The rest of his story is about fame. How he got offered a decent job and a home. And this happened in less than a week after the original video was up in Youtube. Talking about the power of Internet eh? Well, the thing that I want to put here is this, no matter how far your friend, or your family have done, there is always a second chance and I now believe that everyone deserves a second chance. When they leave you and coming back again, just give a second chance and be positive with it. :)

Well, I guess that's all for the 1st post of the year. Hope I could a decent job and well, let's start our year with positive thinking and couple of second chances to be given XD.

H42

The last month of year 2010

This is it. The end of my hometown stay and I will be in airplane going to Sunway tomorrow morning. The visit was pleasant as always and I have eaten tons of food here. Expect me become abit wider instead of wiser :P

Not much to be added here. But somehow, I think I need to rethink whom should I put my trust to.

H42